Permission to Grieve
If you were thrown into this homeschooling journey because of the current pandemic and school situation that most of our country is in, I just want to hug you and SQUEEZE YOU and look into your eyes and tell you, “It’s okay.”
I love homeschooling for my family’s current season.
Even though it’s exhausting and hard, I have confidence that I’m doing what I’m called to do for my family.
I DON’T believe that means that every family is called to homeschooling.
I LOVED school as a child and as a public school teacher.
I cried when my son reached the "Kindergarten milestone" but I was SO thrilled for him to embark on the same educational journey that very much sculpted me into the person I am today.
My oldest child WENT to kindergarten.
He wore a huge backpack that bounced off of his hiney when he walked.
The whole family celebrated as we were all excited to register him at the local elementary school that we loved dearly.
I served as homeroom Mom, dragged all of my babies to the class parties, and I LOVED supporting his precious teachers. I loved serving Jesus by shining his light in the public school. My husband took personal days from work to attend field trips and field days. We LOVED having a child in school.
I was thrown into homeschooling with a life change but ultimately we made the decision for our family. It would have DEVASTATED me if those opportunities that my son had in school would have been taken from him, and us.
Some of us were looking forward to going back to work when our kids were in school.
Some of us were looking forward to quality time with the younger kids while the older ones were in school.
Some of us were looking forward to quiet mornings and baths at noon while ALL of our kids were in school.
Some of us have years of amazing family memories with friends at school wide events and some of our entire communities were built around PTA planning and meetings.
This next school year doesn’t look like what we thought it would.
It’s okay to grieve that!
Give yourself room to grieve the gap that exists between your expectations and your reality.
Remind your heart of God’s goodness, His love for you, His love for your children and His sovereignty over your life and remind yourself that He is faithful to the end and He alone is worthy of your trust.
Being a Christian doesn’t mean you don’t experience disappointment, God can handle you being disappointed. Living a life surrendered to Christ means that your life isn’t defined by those disappointments and that your hope is in the truth of God’s word.
When the disappointment thickens and you are tempted to drown in your own self-pity, meditate on God’s word to point your heart towards worship, gratitude, and trust.
“For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:16-17
Dear God, Help me to trust you with all of the unknowns in my life right now. Thank you for the space to grieve the loss of what I thought this year would look like. Help me to lay the burdens of worry down and trust you with the next step. God, I know that you are bigger and better than my disappointments, I know you are better than anything I had hoped for my family in this season. Please forgive me of any selfishness in my heart or any idols that you may be revealing to me in this season. I pray that we experience YOU in a deeper way than we ever have before. I love you, Amen.